Was this email forwarded to you? Sign up here

🗞️ Issue 60 // ⏱️ Read Time: 7 min

Hello 👋

Dating apps have become the modern-day matchmakers, with AI increasingly taking the driver's seat in our romantic journeys. But as technology continues to advance, we’re facing an important question: Are these tools that are designed to bring us closer together, creating new forms of disconnection? When the way people meet is different, that affects the relationships we form. Let’s find out more.

The Algorithm of Attraction: How AI is Transforming Dating Apps

Dating apps have come a long way since the early days of simple location-based matching. Today's apps employ sophisticated AI and machine learning to create more meaningful connections. How exactly is this technology reshaping our romantic landscape?

The traditional boundaries of dating have been transformed by AI in ways both subtle and profound. Behind the scenes of popular apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge, complex algorithms are working to predict compatibility and create connections that might not have occurred otherwise.

Today, we’re exploring three questions:

💓 How is AI used in dating apps, and how does it impact your experience of love?

💓 Secondly, what are the most recent dating app trends, like AI duplicates and dating coaches?

💓 And, as a third question: Are dating apps becoming irrelevant?

From Simple Swiping to Sophisticated Matching

The earliest dating apps relied on basic parameters like location, age, and gender. Today, AI analyzes much more:

• Behavioral Analysis: AI can study your swiping patterns, messaging habits, and app usage to predict compatibility beyond what users explicitly state in their profiles.

• Natural Language Processing: Apps are now analyzing the text in your bio and messages to understand personality traits, interests, and communication styles.

• Image Recognition: Some apps use machine learning to analyze profile pictures, identifying not just what users find physically attractive, but specific lifestyle indicators that might signal compatibility.

The CEO of Hinge recently outlined the company's plans to fully embrace AI in 2025: more personalized matching, smarter algorithms that adapt to users over time, and AI coaching for struggling daters. For instance, Hinge uses a Nobel Prize-winning algorithm (the Gale-Shapley algorithm) for its "Most Compatible" feature, which creates optimal one-to-one pairings between users. This sophisticated approach goes far beyond the randomized connections of dating's digital past.

When Algorithms Reinforce Bias

While dating sites market their AI as unbiased matchmakers, growing research reveals a more complex reality. Many dating app algorithms may inadvertently perpetuate racial biases and stereotypes.

Research shows that dating platforms often match users with people who look like them, reflecting and reinforcing societal stereotypes about who is considered desirable. This algorithmic bias manifests in concerning patterns. A 2014 OkCupid study revealed that users rated Asian men and Black women as less attractive than other groups. These patterns reflect deeply rooted historical and contemporary views about race, attractiveness, and desirability that algorithms then amplify.

The Match Group (parent company to Tinder, OkCupid, and Hinge) has filed patents suggesting their relevance algorithms select on hair color, eye color, and ethnicity—signals used to evaluate similarity between potential matches. This practice of matching users with those who physically resemble them has roots in centuries-old anti-interracial mingling ideologies.

AI Supported Dating: Duplicates and Coaches

Your Digital Dating Duplicate

Perhaps the most striking development in AI-powered dating is the emergence of what some industry executives are calling "dating concierges" or "duplicates." These AI tools don't just help you date. They can date for you.

Whitney Wolfe Herd, founder of Bumble, envisions AI functioning as a dating concierge, helping users navigate matches, set up dates, and respond to messages. George Arison, CEO of Grindr, refers to these AI entities as "duplicates." Internally, some companies call them "synthetics."

For some users, these tools provide welcome relief from dating app fatigue. "A lot of girls and guys, guys in particular, just do not know how to communicate online," says Roman Khaves, co-founder of Rizz. "It's awkward in the very beginning, especially coming up with the right opener. It's time-consuming, it's like a second job." Some might claim that learning by doing could be the way for individuals to get over their communication challenges. But if they don’t get the opportunity, how will they learn?

Coaches and Wingmen: AI advisors 

Some tools aim to enhance rather than replace human connection, functioning more like a digital dating coach than a substitute partner, more like an AI coach or wingman.

Apps like Amori let users choose from a menu of AI coaches with different personalities, each offering tailored advice on profile optimization, conversation flows, and dating strategy. 

Darling. It’s Not You, It’s Dating

Streamlined Superficiality

Despite these technological advances, many users report growing dissatisfaction with their online dating experiences. About 46% of Americans have had negative experiences with online dating, according to data from the Pew Research Center.

The very algorithms designed to streamline our search for connection may be contributing to a sense of "decision fatigue" and overwhelming choice. When faced with seemingly endless options, users often become less engaged with each individual match, perpetuating a cycle of superficial connections.

There's also the concerning rise of "filterworld”: A phenomenon where dating apps homogenize the dating experience, pushing users toward broadly appealing traits at the expense of the unique qualities that might lead to deeper compatibility.

A Trend Shift Showing Signs of Strain

Despite all these technological advances, there are growing signs that traditional dating apps may be losing their luster. The industry that once seemed unstoppable is showing signs of strain:

• Tinder's paying user base shrunk 9% year-over-year in 2024

• Match Group and Bumble have lost over $40 billion in combined market value since 2021

• The UK's top 10 dating apps saw a decline of nearly 16% in users

What's driving this shift? User dissatisfaction appears to be a significant factor. Almost half of all online daters—and more than half of women—report negative experiences. Many complain about harassment, catfishing, and the jarring nature of going from complete strangers to potential romantic interests within moments.

In addition to general dissatisfaction, some users are also becoming increasingly aware of how algorithms might be limiting their options. As Williams' research demonstrates, if you're a person of color or someone who dates people from diverse backgrounds, you might find that the algorithms aren't presenting you with the full range of potential matches. Many users are questioning: "Am I being shown in match decks because of my identity or despite it?"

Back to Reality: Love on the Run

Perhaps most telling is the growing movement among younger people to ditch dating apps altogether in favour of real-world connections. There's a resurgence of interest in meeting people through shared interests and activities: Running clubs, gyms and social clubs.

Is this the death of dating apps? Not quite. They still boast hundreds of millions of users worldwide, and platforms like Hinge continue to see growth. But it does suggest that the landscape is evolving, with users increasingly seeking more authentic, meaningful connections than algorithms alone can provide.

💘 Real L-O-V-E: Something AI cannot replace

As AI continues to transform dating while traditional apps face new challenges, the question becomes not just how to build better algorithms, but how to use technology in ways that enhance rather than replace human connection.

By maintaining awareness of both the benefits and limitations of AI in dating, we can leverage these tools to create more meaningful connections while preserving the uniquely human aspects of love and relationship. Dating is fundamentally about human interaction. That’s something that even the most sophisticated AI can't fully replicate. The emotional nuances, spontaneous chemistry, and shared experiences that form the foundation of relationships exist beyond the reach of algorithms.

Until next time.
On behalf of Team Lumiera

Emma - Business Strategist
Allegra - Data Specialist

Lumiera has gathered the brightest people from the technology and policy sectors to give you top-quality advice so you can navigate the new AI Era.

Follow the carefully curated Lumiera podcast playlist to stay informed and challenged on all things AI.